Introducing............................................................
I rushed to the hallway where I could reach him faster as I wanted to let him know how I felt for him.
Look there he is...
Found him !!!.. with a bunch of strangers and a weird look on his face
asking me to shoo away ...
as I was still very much there staring as they were heading my way ...
Like usual they righteously ignored my existence..
Still I stood there all by myself in the midst of a cheering crowd. ( The New Year's Eve Party)
As the music got louder, felt annoyed by people's laughter, there shouts getting pitchy as it all grouped into a noisy bunch, pounding on my soul while my heart was sinking ...
I tried real hard to keep up the false mask covering the face full of loathe.
Present Day -----(After a Considerably Long Time)
Rushing to the door grabbing a toast, realized to have forgotten my glasses without which I become a next door neighbor to blindness.
Sometimes I believe every disability has to do something with your brain as it's definitely linked with what you think, you start believing it ...as to what you really are..
Just last week had forgotten it twice but survived except few incidents here and there which followed in the chronological order:-
- Spilled ink all over Mr.Mathur's thesis.
- 10 heavy collisions with every single person who confronted me in the corridor including Mr.Mathur again.
- And just read "making out" loud in front of the class filled with 50 teenagers out of which one of them corrected me with a sheepish smile that the word was "melting out" which was written by none other than me in the black board just a few minutes back..
Gosh !!! , that makes me wonder..I am definitely Blind, there's no two ways about it..
Morning Rhea !!, greeted Mr.Mathur as I walked past him avoiding any sort of collision this time.
Statistics was my subject but when Elsa (my soul mate) was unavailable I ended up teaching English Literature to her students and hated it as they were full of romance, tragedy which were again filled with soliloquy, dramatic monologue.
Elegy -that depicts sorrow and lamentation when someone dies...
Don't we already do it when someone passes away...why to write it all...
The stuff had long before left my abode and had piled deep beneath numbers which for me was a lot simpler..
Hey is Elsa in today ?
I inquired with Rakesh, our helper at the staffroom feeling a bit worried as she did have 3 drinks outside her limit at the theatre night yesterday....
Nahi Madam (No Madam), he replied with a smile and handed me a cup of tea comforting me as he knew I hated to take her classes when she was out...
Here I go again the very first class of my day was Hamlet and his remorseful saga to a class of 10 year olds, how interesting the day can be..
As I started off, there were those 2 twinkling eyes that followed me as I tried hard to explain them why Hamlet was unhappy with his mother ..somehow those eyes and the smile had the charm which I had felt a longtime back when I was young and pretty...It was disturbing but I went ahead with the lesson and got over with the class as soon as possible and rushed outside , when suddenly a hand reached out to me and a soft voice murmured ....
"Miss Can I Skip Hamlet and Go Directly to The Midsummer Night's dream ?
To which I chuckled and looked back to find the same eyes gazing at me waiting for a reply..
I am sure you can my ! , but what's wrong with Hamlet?
I don't like the way he talks to his mother .
The FlashBack..............................................................
Few Years Back --(Almost A Decade)
Rhea you need to come to me when you have any concern , I need to take care of you ...
screaming loudly at me was my new boss Daksh , a smart handsome young man with a lot of arrogance.
And this was my 2nd week coping up with him as my boss , it was hard to adjust to the change plus he was good looking and I hated distractions at work.
Every single girl at work was talking about him..and was falling for him...
I was annoyed by the fact that he jumped in from nowhere to become my boss just because his father was the AVP of our multinational firm..How Convenient ....Grrrr...
I and my team had slogged day and night only to find that one day all the hard work gets banished in the black smoke of power and authority.
He was not unaware of his reputation especially among our team members and that was the reason why he pretended to be super nice with all of us..
Few months later we had become a close knit high performing team working together.All relationships in the world takes time to blend in and so did we...
I had my share of endless arguments with him in every single meeting ,
we never agreed to each other no matter what but as soon as we walked out of the room ,
every expression would be back in place in no time and people used to wonder if we were just fooling with each other back in the conference room..
We had started to look beyond professionalism , and had started to enjoy each other's company..
Most of the time I entered the team room looking out for him ...
His arrival added a ritual to halt at my desk while going ahead with his day..
Life has its own strange way of depicting relationships , most of us feel the same way that if 2 people from opposite sex spent more than normal time together they tend to either fall in love or have sex..
which I don't completely disagree but there is a 50% probability that they might be entirely having a different connection at a whole different tangent which not many realize can exist in every possible way..
Whenever I was stressed or upset , he used to pull me in for shopping, movie or a loud discussion in the terrace about love,sex,food,movie,how to date women at work pretty much every possible topic which had multiple facets associated with it..
Outside work ,we never felt the urge to get together as we were completely packed up with our own sect of friends and family..
But we did text each other every time we felt the need to share something stupid or really close to heart..
By this time he had dated almost every decent to naughty chick at work.
There used to be special workshop sessions and meetings booked in one of our team conference rooms usually on Friday's and Saturday's on which I dreaded to be part of..
It would have an abrupt start with a most predicting end..where I am walking out of the room without taking down the next steps..
There was absolutely no romantic inclination from either one of us..just the fact that we had become each other's essential part of life in no time but had our own secrets to deal with as we came from disparate worlds.
Although one fine evening at a New Year Party where 80% alcohol was gushing through my blood , I
wanted to rush and tell him that he was really special for me ..
When I realized the next day wanted to kill myself as I was kind of ruining it when there was a high probability of heart break .
Not sure why I had included myself among the people who either judged or misjudged a relationship by not thinking straight that there can be a truth of just simple liking and a strong bond where you care for the person and believe that he will stand for you whenever you need him...
Love is a dependency but friendship is the pure blend of affection and trust where you can expect to be betrayed by everyone except your one friend who will tug you in and be right beside you ready to fight all the battles of life..
Eventually this bonding came to an end with I quitting the organization for higher studies..
At first it was difficult to manage without each other..but after a couple of years we got used to it..
Thanks Ree !!, for taking care of my class yesterday..
Don't mention, hey wanted to know about a kid from the same class. His face looked familiar.
Naah !!!..too young 10 is not an eligible year to date.
Else , I was afraid if they all end up calling me granny..
Come on you are just 32 , still very young just desperate and winked at me.
The next day I caught his watery eyes standing under the staircase on my way to the library.
Couldn't help moving towards him and hugging him tightly , comforting him ...
what's the matter ?
I miss being normal..
Walked along with him to his class room without anymore questions.
He was tormenting for some reason and it was none of my concern to know why but someone was pushing me inside to go for it and have all my answers.
The next day I was right outside his door and reaching out to his doorbell, to which an old lady answered ..
Is Vansh home , I am her teacher ..or his parents home ?
Vansh So Raha Hai ...(He is sleeping) and then she analyzed me for an entire 5 minutes after which she said
Kya Hua , Main Uski Daadi Hoon..(What happened , I am his granny you can tell me)
What about his parents ? ( I was poking this lady really bad, just waiting for her to slam the door on my face)
Instead , she invited me in and requested me to wait till Vansh gets up.
Dono mein jhagda hua aur ek din sab khatam, Vansh tab se yaheen hai mere paas...(Their parents are now separated and Vansh stays with her since he was a toddler)
Rhea Miss !!! I saw his face brightening up with an amazing fire.
His Granny smiled and rushed to the kitchen and got me some home made Theplas ( A Dry Spicy Bread) and a cup of tea.
The warmth of the moment just dragged me into it forcing 5 hours of unlimited fun with the little one.
Harry Potter and his Chamber of Secrets while he passed out in deep slumber within 15 minutes ,
his head resting on my lap as if he had waited a long time for this
My hands were on his forehead caressing him when suddenly felt a drop of water on his cheeks.
That was me ...
Sometimes you take a decade to realize how much you are in love while at other times it takes just a couple of moments to feel the depth of an unspoken love..
Just yesterday I met this kid ...
Wandering why I feel a heavy force tying me to this innocent plea for love.
Have You Lost It !!!
I can feel the agitation in her voice.
The last time I fell in love and right about the same time I felt God played some kind of prank on me
by making the person leave the world when there was just a month left before tying the knot..
She looked at me with painful eyes..
Don't do this to me again, I lost my child in front of my own eyes it would have been very much a part of me by now if only I was happily married with a fatherly figure to legally give birth to my own child..
What Crap ...A girl is always pushed to the limit and a guy just gets a life full of options..
I am sure if I were dead instead f him , it wouldn't have been that big of a deal..
Relax Rhea..
I don't want to loose the second chance which God is giving me this time.Practically this child has no one except his granny , his parents are busy in their own world.Why should I be the one backing out.
When I am the one trying to become the fairy God Mother , because trust me this kid needs love and affection from a person who is selflessly happy of his existence.
Suddenly my eyes caught a text on my phone which said ,
"You owe me an apologetic call as without father's permission one doesn't dare to mess with my child - Vansh's Dad"
And here comes the father ...Looking at Elsa I burst into laughter..
How is that funny ??
I refrained myself from visiting Vansh anymore.Unfortunately he was always in my mind.
I tried to indulge into activities which would keep me busy all through the day and through the nights..
Took up evening mathematic classes for engineering graduates,started working out even though
used to stuff chocolates,ice creams watching Sholay , Pyaasa, Aradhana, Amar Prem (Bollywood Cult Movies)
I was wide awake through nights and was dozing off through days ..
You need to take a break Ree..
So you heard I slept at my desk when the final board exams were going on...
Think about your future , this is not what you want to become..
I want to be a successful mom,
Go ahead date guys marry someone successful and have tons of kids..
From my dreary eyes I could see Vansh staring at me from a distant at the corridor..
Is that Vansh ?
How are you?, it seems my dad doesn't like meeting up with you but when will the day come when it will be about me..
I am sorry but hey guess what you can still talk to me whenever you want..
The same helplessness I felt sitting on the chair at the hospital with the doctor giving me a weird look..
So you are not married but you are pregnant and where is this guy??
He is dead can we go ahead with the process please..
Life had taken a weird turn as suddenly the path on which I went ahead long time back seem to be stalking me back leaving me no choice ...
Couldn't get past the loss that I had no more chances.
While walking back to the staff room saw a figure standing right next to the door separating the staff room and the guest room..My eyes were playing games as they were too damp to even read through glasses but still trying to focus the figure as it looked familiar.
As my vision got closer couldn't refrain my heart pounding hard realizing the figurine to be none other than the one back from the new year's eve..
He tilted his head grinning back at me as his face glowed "Is That You Rhea ?..
Within couple of seconds my head was on his shoulders with uncontrollable tears rolling down my eyes.I could hear his heart pounding as well as this time his grasp was tighter than usual.There was a moment of absolute silence and I could smell his Davidoff which had haunted me for days after that dreadful New Year's Eve.
Never felt it was you Rhea ...all this while with Vansh.
Wiping my face , I stood there looking at him - I still feel he needs me at the moment but I will leave it up-to you to decide ...
You tell me what went wrong ?
Frankly , I don't know much just that his eyes say it all and to me it's overwhelming that he has chosen me ..
I love him too..believe me ..
Where were you ?..
He held my hands and coming closer looked straight into my eyes.
I was there but I would not lie was busy figuring out some other stuff in my life but would have come back to him eventually..
When?...(This time my eyes were sternly looking at him as if trying to ask him millions of questions since the New Year's Eve)
Don't bother to answer ...I am happy that you still care have my class to go to.
Walking down the corridor my heart got heavier as if I lost everything back again and this time I drowned too deep to even have the courage to fight back the waves and swim to the coast as I loved the way I was sinking..
After school I went to the roof top where we used to chat for hours (I and Daksh) .
It was an amazing sight from above as you can feel the whole city but not the noise and dust , you can reach out to the stars but can never touch them, you will always find the person within the organization you are searching for if you stand there for an hour and you can always stand over the edge hoping that you will never fall as there will be always someone accompanying you who will never leave you when you tend to fall..
Our organization had moved to their new building , no one was there except me..staring at those times which had no wings to fly back..
Found You !!
Hey !! , what you doing here ?
I came to apologize for always closing doors on you and now taking away all your hopes for me.
Aresto Momentum !!! ( A Harry Potter Spell to decrease velocity)...as I drove past the traffic lights just in time.
Hope we are gonna make it to the exhibition..
Elsa !!! Did I miss it ...
Let's walk in ...
For the first time ever it felt a bit awkward to be honest but was socializing with all the parents in a different way and rushed to the "Metal Detector" counter.
How's it going buddy ?
Relax , all said and done we will nail it ...
As the tall lady ( Judge) was approaching us and she exclaimed " He Looks very much like you Rhea ...
I Was Speechless as we both smiled and winked at each other.(Both -Vansh & Me)
Staring straight at the auditorium door each time trying hard to see the figure which had held me to not let me go for the first time ever in my lifetime.
Just when someone tapped on my head as hard to get my attention ..
Grabbing my hand and pulling it over ..This time let's spend the New Year's Together..(It Was Daksh)
......................................................... Story narrated and thought by :-
Few months later we had become a close knit high performing team working together.All relationships in the world takes time to blend in and so did we...
I had my share of endless arguments with him in every single meeting ,
we never agreed to each other no matter what but as soon as we walked out of the room ,
every expression would be back in place in no time and people used to wonder if we were just fooling with each other back in the conference room..
We had started to look beyond professionalism , and had started to enjoy each other's company..
Most of the time I entered the team room looking out for him ...
His arrival added a ritual to halt at my desk while going ahead with his day..
Life has its own strange way of depicting relationships , most of us feel the same way that if 2 people from opposite sex spent more than normal time together they tend to either fall in love or have sex..
which I don't completely disagree but there is a 50% probability that they might be entirely having a different connection at a whole different tangent which not many realize can exist in every possible way..
Whenever I was stressed or upset , he used to pull me in for shopping, movie or a loud discussion in the terrace about love,sex,food,movie,how to date women at work pretty much every possible topic which had multiple facets associated with it..
Outside work ,we never felt the urge to get together as we were completely packed up with our own sect of friends and family..
But we did text each other every time we felt the need to share something stupid or really close to heart..
By this time he had dated almost every decent to naughty chick at work.
There used to be special workshop sessions and meetings booked in one of our team conference rooms usually on Friday's and Saturday's on which I dreaded to be part of..
It would have an abrupt start with a most predicting end..where I am walking out of the room without taking down the next steps..
There was absolutely no romantic inclination from either one of us..just the fact that we had become each other's essential part of life in no time but had our own secrets to deal with as we came from disparate worlds.
Although one fine evening at a New Year Party where 80% alcohol was gushing through my blood , I
wanted to rush and tell him that he was really special for me ..
When I realized the next day wanted to kill myself as I was kind of ruining it when there was a high probability of heart break .
Not sure why I had included myself among the people who either judged or misjudged a relationship by not thinking straight that there can be a truth of just simple liking and a strong bond where you care for the person and believe that he will stand for you whenever you need him...
Love is a dependency but friendship is the pure blend of affection and trust where you can expect to be betrayed by everyone except your one friend who will tug you in and be right beside you ready to fight all the battles of life..
Eventually this bonding came to an end with I quitting the organization for higher studies..
At first it was difficult to manage without each other..but after a couple of years we got used to it..
And Love It Is ........................................................................
Thanks Ree !!, for taking care of my class yesterday..
Don't mention, hey wanted to know about a kid from the same class. His face looked familiar.
Naah !!!..too young 10 is not an eligible year to date.
Else , I was afraid if they all end up calling me granny..
Come on you are just 32 , still very young just desperate and winked at me.
The next day I caught his watery eyes standing under the staircase on my way to the library.
Couldn't help moving towards him and hugging him tightly , comforting him ...
what's the matter ?
I miss being normal..
Walked along with him to his class room without anymore questions.
He was tormenting for some reason and it was none of my concern to know why but someone was pushing me inside to go for it and have all my answers.
The next day I was right outside his door and reaching out to his doorbell, to which an old lady answered ..
Is Vansh home , I am her teacher ..or his parents home ?
Vansh So Raha Hai ...(He is sleeping) and then she analyzed me for an entire 5 minutes after which she said
Kya Hua , Main Uski Daadi Hoon..(What happened , I am his granny you can tell me)
What about his parents ? ( I was poking this lady really bad, just waiting for her to slam the door on my face)
Instead , she invited me in and requested me to wait till Vansh gets up.
Dono mein jhagda hua aur ek din sab khatam, Vansh tab se yaheen hai mere paas...(Their parents are now separated and Vansh stays with her since he was a toddler)
Rhea Miss !!! I saw his face brightening up with an amazing fire.
His Granny smiled and rushed to the kitchen and got me some home made Theplas ( A Dry Spicy Bread) and a cup of tea.
The warmth of the moment just dragged me into it forcing 5 hours of unlimited fun with the little one.
Harry Potter and his Chamber of Secrets while he passed out in deep slumber within 15 minutes ,
his head resting on my lap as if he had waited a long time for this
My hands were on his forehead caressing him when suddenly felt a drop of water on his cheeks.
That was me ...
Sometimes you take a decade to realize how much you are in love while at other times it takes just a couple of moments to feel the depth of an unspoken love..
Just yesterday I met this kid ...
Wandering why I feel a heavy force tying me to this innocent plea for love.
SPLIT WIDE OPEN.........................................................
Have You Lost It !!!
I can feel the agitation in her voice.
The last time I fell in love and right about the same time I felt God played some kind of prank on me
by making the person leave the world when there was just a month left before tying the knot..
She looked at me with painful eyes..
Don't do this to me again, I lost my child in front of my own eyes it would have been very much a part of me by now if only I was happily married with a fatherly figure to legally give birth to my own child..
What Crap ...A girl is always pushed to the limit and a guy just gets a life full of options..
I am sure if I were dead instead f him , it wouldn't have been that big of a deal..
Relax Rhea..
I don't want to loose the second chance which God is giving me this time.Practically this child has no one except his granny , his parents are busy in their own world.Why should I be the one backing out.
When I am the one trying to become the fairy God Mother , because trust me this kid needs love and affection from a person who is selflessly happy of his existence.
Suddenly my eyes caught a text on my phone which said ,
"You owe me an apologetic call as without father's permission one doesn't dare to mess with my child - Vansh's Dad"
And here comes the father ...Looking at Elsa I burst into laughter..
How is that funny ??
I refrained myself from visiting Vansh anymore.Unfortunately he was always in my mind.
I tried to indulge into activities which would keep me busy all through the day and through the nights..
Took up evening mathematic classes for engineering graduates,started working out even though
used to stuff chocolates,ice creams watching Sholay , Pyaasa, Aradhana, Amar Prem (Bollywood Cult Movies)
I was wide awake through nights and was dozing off through days ..
You need to take a break Ree..
So you heard I slept at my desk when the final board exams were going on...
Think about your future , this is not what you want to become..
I want to be a successful mom,
Go ahead date guys marry someone successful and have tons of kids..
From my dreary eyes I could see Vansh staring at me from a distant at the corridor..
Is that Vansh ?
How are you?, it seems my dad doesn't like meeting up with you but when will the day come when it will be about me..
I am sorry but hey guess what you can still talk to me whenever you want..
The same helplessness I felt sitting on the chair at the hospital with the doctor giving me a weird look..
So you are not married but you are pregnant and where is this guy??
He is dead can we go ahead with the process please..
It's Not The End .......................................................
Life had taken a weird turn as suddenly the path on which I went ahead long time back seem to be stalking me back leaving me no choice ...
Couldn't get past the loss that I had no more chances.
While walking back to the staff room saw a figure standing right next to the door separating the staff room and the guest room..My eyes were playing games as they were too damp to even read through glasses but still trying to focus the figure as it looked familiar.
As my vision got closer couldn't refrain my heart pounding hard realizing the figurine to be none other than the one back from the new year's eve..
He tilted his head grinning back at me as his face glowed "Is That You Rhea ?..
Within couple of seconds my head was on his shoulders with uncontrollable tears rolling down my eyes.I could hear his heart pounding as well as this time his grasp was tighter than usual.There was a moment of absolute silence and I could smell his Davidoff which had haunted me for days after that dreadful New Year's Eve.
Never felt it was you Rhea ...all this while with Vansh.
Wiping my face , I stood there looking at him - I still feel he needs me at the moment but I will leave it up-to you to decide ...
You tell me what went wrong ?
Frankly , I don't know much just that his eyes say it all and to me it's overwhelming that he has chosen me ..
I love him too..believe me ..
Where were you ?..
He held my hands and coming closer looked straight into my eyes.
I was there but I would not lie was busy figuring out some other stuff in my life but would have come back to him eventually..
When?...(This time my eyes were sternly looking at him as if trying to ask him millions of questions since the New Year's Eve)
Don't bother to answer ...I am happy that you still care have my class to go to.
Walking down the corridor my heart got heavier as if I lost everything back again and this time I drowned too deep to even have the courage to fight back the waves and swim to the coast as I loved the way I was sinking..
After school I went to the roof top where we used to chat for hours (I and Daksh) .
It was an amazing sight from above as you can feel the whole city but not the noise and dust , you can reach out to the stars but can never touch them, you will always find the person within the organization you are searching for if you stand there for an hour and you can always stand over the edge hoping that you will never fall as there will be always someone accompanying you who will never leave you when you tend to fall..
Our organization had moved to their new building , no one was there except me..staring at those times which had no wings to fly back..
Found You !!
Hey !! , what you doing here ?
I came to apologize for always closing doors on you and now taking away all your hopes for me.
----- After A Year
Aresto Momentum !!! ( A Harry Potter Spell to decrease velocity)...as I drove past the traffic lights just in time.
Hope we are gonna make it to the exhibition..
Elsa !!! Did I miss it ...
Let's walk in ...
For the first time ever it felt a bit awkward to be honest but was socializing with all the parents in a different way and rushed to the "Metal Detector" counter.
How's it going buddy ?
Relax , all said and done we will nail it ...
As the tall lady ( Judge) was approaching us and she exclaimed " He Looks very much like you Rhea ...
I Was Speechless as we both smiled and winked at each other.(Both -Vansh & Me)
Staring straight at the auditorium door each time trying hard to see the figure which had held me to not let me go for the first time ever in my lifetime.
Just when someone tapped on my head as hard to get my attention ..
Grabbing my hand and pulling it over ..This time let's spend the New Year's Together..(It Was Daksh)
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